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疫魔肆虐终有尽,网上师生共成长 ——宜宾市初中英语“灾难·成长”征文活动纪实

来源:本站原创  人气指数: 次  发布时间:2020年04月10日

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宜宾市教育科学研究所办公室         2020年4月6日

 

疫魔肆虐终有尽,网上师生共成长

——宜宾市初中英语“灾难·成长”征文活动纪实

 

2020年一月,正当中国人民喜气洋洋准备迎接新春佳节,举家团圆之际,一场突如其来的灾难,新冠肺炎(COVID-19)降临到中华大地上。面对疫情,中国人民没有惊慌失措,而是紧密地团结在以习近平同志为核心的党中央周围,在党和各级政府的坚强领导下,举全国之力,共同抗击疫魔。

灾难无法回避,我们唯有选择学会面对学会成长。写作是一种面对也是一种成长,它关乎成长的思维品质,关乎我们如何更好地阅读世界和提升自我。为响应上级领导提出的“停课不停学”的要求,宜宾市教科所组织了“灾难·成长”专题征文活动。从初中英语的学科、学段特色出发,且为方便参加征文活动的学生们拟清方向和思路,初中英语组贴心地给出了丰富多彩的多种征文文体,内容包括学习安排、倡议书、建议信、感谢信、慰问信、求助信、人物介绍、发言稿、留言条、咨询信、请假条、通知、科普知识、新闻报道等文体,并要求指导教师加入教师点评和推荐理由,这极大地鼓舞了全市初中初中英语教师和学生们参与征文的热忱,“用我手写我感”、“用我手写我心”,在这堂特殊意义的“大课堂”面前,全市的师生积极踊跃参与,呈现出了一篇篇真实、宝贵和终生难忘的英语文章。共收到有效作品796篇(不包括手抄报和图片格式和重复的)。

类别

七年级

八年级

九年级

高中征文

教师征文

无年级或学校信息

私立学校

42

64

67

 

 

 

城区学校

46

94

81

 

 

 

乡镇学校

41

127

174

 

 

 

合计

129

285

322

2

16

40

七年级

本次征文围绕抗疫为中心,多角度、多文体的写作特点,学生的写作灵感被大大激发出来,很多学生写出了无论从文笔还是情感都非常出色的英语短文。如下面这篇以病毒作为第一人称写作的文章,虽然是七年级的学生所写,语句结构简单,但是文字天真活泼、视野独特新颖,稚嫩的初一学生的形象跃然纸上,是一篇很好的作品。

Help me go back home

I am a beautiful virus. I look like a crown, so I get a name -- coronavirus. I'm so small that you can't see me by naked eyes.

I live in wild animals happily. Unluckily, some people kill them for food and other reasons. I have no places to live in. Therefore, I have to find a new home. I think humans are my best choice. So I enter them through droplets,sneeze and so on. However, we cant get along with each other. I dont like this new home anymore. I want to go back. Can anyone help me? You can help me in the following ways:

First, stay at home. and dont go out unless necessary.

Second, open the window.

Third, wear a mask whenever you go out.

Fourth, wash your hands often with alcohol or soap.

Wild animals are my best home. I hope they will never be killed in the future!

教师点评:

小作者以第一人称的口吻描述了新冠病毒的形状,传播的方式以及防疫方法。结尾还号召人们保护自然野生动物。角度新颖。

    学生以书信的形式写作的文章,结合疫情,既有真实性,又培养和提高了学生的写作水平。下面这封写给奋战在抗疫一线的白衣天使的信,就深刻地表达了小作者对医护人员们的感激之情。

Dear angels in white,

I am a student from Yibin. The novel coronavirus suddenly hit Wuhan, China in December 2019. The spread of the disease is very serious. In this dangerous situation, you, from all over China, stand out and go to Wuhan to help.

Some of you are over 80 years old and some of you have just graduated from college. You are the parents of children and the sons or daughters of parents. but you are all brave enough to face the epidemic.

You try not to go to the toilet for several hours to save a new protective coat and I know it is not easy. You have little time to rest, and when you are really tired, you just take a nap on the floor. Some of you have been inflected to save the sick and some have even lost lives…. How I wish the virus couldn’t make you sick because you are angels in white!

Finally, I want to say thank you to all the angels in white! Thank you, dear angels! Because of your courage and hard work, everything is becoming better and better. And I hope you can keep healthy and come back to your parents and children soon.

Best wishes!

Yours,

XXX

教师点评:

疫情爆发,医护工作者从四面八方赶到武汉支援,他们明知危险却依然义无反顾,挺身而出。他们的事迹在小作者心里悄悄埋下感恩的种子。小作者通过此文感谢、致敬并祝福前线支援的白衣天使!

本次征文比赛学生参与范围广泛,城区、农村学校都积极参加,农村学校的学生也涌现出了一些高水平的征文作品,如下面这篇文章,内容是对于新冠肺炎的防控建议,语言都是他们学过或者通过网络学习获得的新词汇、新语言,内容完整、充实,具有很强的可操作性,值得一读。

Advice on COVID-19 Prevention

It’s reported that Wuhan and other places have found a new type of coronavirus pneumonia named COVID-19 which causes panic among the population. In my opinion, prevention is proverbially better than cure and it is not necessary to be nervous, but we must do something to protect ourselves. Here are some suggestions:

1. Keep exercising for an hour every day.

2. Develop a routine and have a balanced diet.

3. Try not to go to crowded places to avoid contacting with infected people.   

  Remember to wear a mask when we have to go out.

4. Keep the rooms clean and ventilated every day.

5. Wash hands frequently when coming back from outdoors, after contacting  

  with animals, after coughing or sneezing, before eating or drinking….

6. Do not visit relatives or friends during a special time.

7. If we have a bad cough or fever, wear a mask and go to the hospital

  immediately.

If all the above points are done, then the virus will stay away from us.

教师点评

文章为该生原创,结构清晰,句式使用得熟练且准确。话题紧扣当前防控疫情,提出了合理有操作性的建议。此外,作者是一名来自农村的七年级学生,通过努力自学可以使用多种句式灵活表达自己的观点实属不易,值得其他学生学习。

八年级

八年级学生拥有更多的词汇量和更强的表达能力,所以可以写出论据较为严密、语言更加有力的征文,如下面这篇征文:

Maybe you should change your learning method!

What an unusual new year it is! Lots of people are badly sick because of COVID-19 in our country. Thanks to the doctors and nurses who are fighting with it day and night. To protect ourselves, wed better stay at home instead of going out.

Our teachers told us that we had to put off studying at school. We cant go to school until we beat COVID-19.

Some students are very happy because they think they are free and have more time to relax. However, our teachers and parents are worried that we cant study well by learning online courses. Its a big challenge.

I am trying out a new learning method, so I cant wait to share it with you.

Firstly, we need a TO-DO List before studying. Every day we have many tasks to do. But we often forget some tasks. That makes our teachers very angry. We need to write down our daily tasks on a piece of paper and stick it on the desk. If we do, we know clearly what we’re doing that day. When we finish one task, we can make a special mark like a smiling face.

Then, we must do the most important and difficult task first. If we solve the biggest problem, there’s nothing we can’t do on that day.

Finally, we need to complete each task in a limited time. At the same time, we should take a break after we finish one. Having a short rest can help us to do the next task better.

   I believe if you change your learning method, you will study better.

教师点评

该篇文章选材角度佳,不落俗套,文笔精简流畅,观点新颖有吸引力。主要介绍的是学生受新冠肺炎影响,只能在家上网课,针对老师家长担忧网学效果问题,提出高效学习方法。

   1、作者介绍的高效学习方法,是当今世界深受欢迎的有效时间管理方法:事情归类;设置顺序(博恩.崔西大师经典之作《吃掉那只青蛙》建议先解决最困难最有价值的事情);清单革命;劳逸结合;此文既有实操性,又具有理论高度。

2、作者观察仔细,主题凝练,逻辑清晰,层次突出。将疫情期间学生的抗疫决心和努力学习的决心描写得淋漓尽致,详略得当,内容具体。如通过firstlythenfinally提出了自己具体且可行的建议。再如“make a TO-DO List before studyingdo the most important and difficult task firstcomplete each task in a limited time”有理论高度的有效时间管理方法。

3、标题设置“Maybe you should change your learning method!”给人一种好奇的感觉,促使想仔细阅览全文。同时短段落大大加强了文章的可读性和节奏感。

4、语言使用精准,句式丰富。该文用词精炼,不拖沓。“trying out a new leaning methodcan't study well by learning online coursesHaving a short rest can help us to do the next task better”。并列句、状语从句、Ving作主语、Its + adj. for sb. to do sth.等多种句式完美表现,足以凸现作者良好的英语功底。

5、文章以疫情感受开头,以倡导努力学习结尾。这样使文章主题逐渐升华,感染力极强。

抗击新冠肺炎疫情期间,虽然我们大多数人只能困坐家中,但是通过方便的媒体,我们可以了解到很多令人感动的事迹,学生们通过征文,写出了真挚的感情,也受到了一次难能可贵的情感教育。

如下面这篇征文:

She Rode a Bike to Wuhan

When the Spring Festival is coming, Chinese people usually get together to celebrate it. But this year was very different for many people because of the novel coronavirus. Thousands of doctors and nurses went to the same place — Wuhan. One of them was Gan Ruyi.

Gan Ruyi was a 24-year-old doctor of a hospital in Wuhan. She went back to Jinzhou, her hometown before the virus broke out. When she knew that novel coronavirus broke out in Wuhan, she decided to go back to Wuhan to get into work without thinking twice. But the only problem was that the epidemic situation made a big difference to the traffic, so there was no car to take her to Wuhan. Then Gan Ruyi decided to ride a bike to Wuhan, although Jinzhou was 300 kilometers from Wuhan!

She set off from Jinzhou on February 4 and met many difficulties on the way. For example, on the first night, she lost her way and couldn't find a hotel. Luckilyshe met a warm-hearted person, and this person told her how to go next. Thanks to the nice person, Gan Ruyi didn't sleep on the street. Keeping riding a bike was a tiring thing. Gan Ruyi was so tired that she could not ride anymore on the third day. But she didn't give up. She met a policeman on the road and told the policeman her plan. To her joy, the policeman found a car to Wuhan and the driver gave her a lift. So she needn’t keep riding a bike.

At last, Gan Ruyi arrived at the hospital where she worked on February 8. She only rested for a few hours, then she began working. What a surprising experience it was! Because there were thousands of doctors and nurses like her, more people were saved. They are real heroes.

教师评语:

本文讲述了自疫情发生以来,涌现出的各行各业中的先进人物事迹。作者运用细腻深情的描写,给我们讲述了“最美逆行者”90后女医生甘如意,骑自行车奔赴武汉“战场”的感人事迹,甘医生用她那单薄稚嫩的身躯丈量这三百公里的距离,为打赢疫情战,贡献者自己的力量,细细读来感人肺腑。文章紧扣主题,行文流畅,结构严谨,选材新颖,值得品鉴。

好文章常常有一个好的标题。标题醒目,才能更好地吸引读者的关注。下面这篇文章就以Sunshine comes after the storm(阳光总在风雨后)为题进行写作,文笔流畅优美,充分利用所学词汇和表达,主题鲜明,文章内容饱含情感特色,充分展现疫情当下中学生积极向上、充满正能量的真实内心世界。

Sunshine comes after the storm

2020 was regarded as a romantic year and many people thought it would be full of love and peace. However, an unexpected disaster came to us suddenly. That is Novel Coronavirus. So the biggest event for people in China is to fight with this kind of terrible virus instead of celebrating the spring festival.

We all know that Novel Coronavirus came to China and it made us feel terrible. We people in China are all in great danger, especially those people who are in Wuhan.

Many excellent doctors have arrived in Wuhan and tried their best to give this weak city a hand. Even, some of them lost their lives. At this time, what should we do? First, we should remember to take a face mask when we must go out. Second, we'd better not go out if it is not necessary and we'd better tell our families not to go out. We should stay at home and do something meaningful. Third, if you have something important to do, please make yourself safe and don't forget to take your temperature and disinfect with alcohol when you go back home. Whats more, we have to stay at home and do enough exercise to stay in good health. In the end, you'd better pay attention to the news every day. Everyone should play a part in conquering the unexpected disaster.

Although we are still in danger, the situation is becoming better and better. Just as the saying goes: “Sunshine comes after the storm. If spring comes, can hope be far behind?

教师点评:

    本篇文章是一篇建议类文体的文章。首段生动形象,开门见山点出话题。正文部分要点明确,逻辑清晰,给出贴合生活实际的建议。结尾段落巧妙运用谚语情感升华,首尾呼应。是一篇优秀的作文。

九年级

九年级的学生积累多,想表达的内容更加丰富,所以征文篇幅较长,然而大部分能够围绕主题进行写作,如下面这篇征文,生能够联系生活中了解的新冠状病毒及产生的一系列影响,对比以往春节景象,突出了“unexpected”(难以预料)这个主题,尤其是那些最美逆行者和善良的人们以及全国人民团结一心战疫情的情况,体现了中国人民的伟大。对于作为学生的他们,也能清楚的安排自己在家而不是在学校的学习同时,运用了英语课中学到的知识,如短语all of a sudden等;最高级the most important; 感叹句How busy and happy they are !;宾语从句We hope we can go back to school as soon as possible.等多种语法句式,语句通顺,前后照应,对一个农村的学生来说,是很不错的一篇文章。

This spring festival is full of the unexpected

The spring festival is the most important in Chinese traditional festivals. During the festival, people make their houses clean and beautiful, get together and have a big meal, visit their friends and relatives, watch the lanterns and guess the riddlesgo traveling with family and so on.

But this spring festival is full of the unexpected. China is under the masked sky because of novel coronavirus pneumonia(NCP). The WHO called it COVID-19. It’s said that it comes from the bat. It is a kind of human coronaviruses. It can infect the respiratory tract. It spreads very quickly and makes many people ill, even loses their lives. All of a sudden, many cities seemed stalled, with streets empty, restaurants closed and celebration of the spring festival nowhere to be found. But some places are busier than ever, namely hospitals.

Many volunteers, most of them are doctors and nurses all over China, risked to go to Hubei to have a life-and-death battle against COVID-19. They kept working until they fell, even lost their lives. Also, many other people gave goods or money to help fight against COVID-19. All Chinese people pull together following by the government.

   As students, we have to stay at home instead of going to school to keep us healthy. But we shouldn't stop studying. We should value our learning time. And many teachers give good lessons for free on the Internet or TV. We can learn new knowledge on TV or the Internet at home easily.

   This spring festival is full of the unexpected, but our hearts are filled with appreciations and warmth.

教师点评:

整篇文章思路清晰,段落层次清楚,通过对以往春节的印象,对比新冠状病毒笼罩下的春节:城市的景象、人们的行为、学生的学习等方面,突出了unexpected这个主题。

面对空前的疫情,我们不仅要面对灾难,更有战胜灾难的勇气和决心,并从灾难中不断成长。下面这篇征文不仅仅是一篇征文,更是对疫魔的决战宣言、挑战书。

Growing up in the pain

Disaster brings pain to many people. Disaster takes many people’s lives. Disaster brings sorrow to children. Disaster makes people brave and grows up.

The spring festival of 2020 should be full of laughter. It should be a happy time for all families. Children should play with their friends happily. However, the bad news of illness makes the happiness of the new year disappear and break the good wishes of people. Because of COVID–19, which makes nearly 1.4 billion Chinese panics.

 This is not only a war without smoke, but it also cares about our own lives. People are very afraid of the disaster. Facing this disaster .what we can do is not panic, but face it with optimism. Many doctors and nurses are fighting against the illness. Facing of this war, the angels in white don’t flinchnor do we? We should learn to be strong, to grow and unite.

 The medical staff is fighting against the virus day after night. And all we can do is staying at home, instead of going out freely. Wear a mask when you go out.

Disaster brings endless pain to people, but it also makes people learn to be strong, to grow and unite. This disaster has taken so many people’s lives. From this, we see the fragility of life, we saw countless death. We are shocked by that. And the origin of this virus is that people eat wild animals. So, We should protect wild animals. Hurting them is hurting ourselves. When I see the death rate increasing day by day, many people are separated. When I see the medical staff from everywhere go to Wuhan to help the patients. I also want to help them, but I can’t do anything. So that I can only study hard now. Disaster has no feelings, but humans do. Facing the disaster, unity is strength. If one side is being in trouble, it’s supported by all sides. Facing of the disaster, we are tiny. But as long as we unite, we are sure to succeed. When the ice and snowmelt, we will welcome the spring together. I believe everything will be OK.

教师点评:

该文章贴近生活,情节合理,感情丰富,有正确的价值观。准确描述了一个中学生的勇气,在疫情面前,生命是脆弱的,但竭尽所能去战胜疫情。此外,该生使用了丰富的短语和句型,为文章增色不少。

囿于初中学生的英语水平有限以及参差不齐,征文中也出现了很多需要在今后的英语教学中进行改进的地方,对于教师和学生来说,都值得关注:

一、 认真阅读文件,严格按照文件要求参加征文。收到的征文中存在着一部分文章没有教师点评或推荐语,而这是文件上明确要求的。为公平起见,这样的征文只能作放弃或降档处理,这就使学生付出的努力没能得到应有的回报;

二、 坚持实事求是的原则。文件要求必须是原创作品,然而在评审过程中,我们也发现有极个别的文章是在网上下载的非原创作品,十分遗憾;

三、 有的文章内容空洞,缺乏真情实感,没有新颖的写作视角,这样的文章要获奖难度就比较大;相反的,有的学生的写作从小切口开始展开,收放有据,角度新颖,这样的征文就属于优秀的作品。

四、征文中学生的错字、排版、标点符号、冠词、单复数等问题出现频率较高,问题比较多,希望老师们在教学中予以重点关注。这表面学生的英语基础和计算机能力还有待加强,也从另一个角度说明推荐教师还需提高责任心;相反地,有些征文的指导老师比较认真细致,用批注的方式在作文旁边进行了修改,既呈现了学生作文原本,又体现出教师对学生的严谨认真的态度,值得学习和表扬。

总之, “阳光总在风雨后”,这次征文活动,让我们看到了这几年部分课改的成果和可喜的变化。疫情终将过去,在这场令国人难忘的抗疫大考中,宜宾市各区县、各学校师生经受住了考验,也交出了一份令人满意的答卷,正如歌曲中唱的那样,“不经历风雨,怎么见彩虹?”更加成熟的宜宾师生,必将收获更加美好的明天!